disassociation

it's a bit insane, i'm not the same person as i was before i died;
was being young to blame? now it feels that i'm looking at myself and from the side
a slow rebuild, it took a while to come to terms with who i'm not:

now i don't mind disassociation;
now i don't mind - most the time!

if it gets too heavy, i ll have a sip of voddy, mix it with my prescription;
but i cannot tell, what is making me feel numb - is it the chicken or the egg?
Is this for real??? to question everything is the new heartache:

now i don't mind disassociation;
now i don't mind - most the time!

upside down! it takes a while to come to terms with what you're not
inside out - it still takes a lotta drink just to even out...

so there it is - a tale of shame and woe of the westerners' disease
i need to feel, need to reach across the gap between the universe and me;
but i can deal, but dealing's not enough when you've only got one life:

now i don't mind disassociation;
now i don't mind - most the time!

...i don't mind watching from the stands.