Noone's Gonna Save Me

I've been selling myself short
ignoring the words of our good Lord
I have been slumming it for years
now every day i wear this bitter sneer

But I'm done with all you poor, who were never taught to think or read fuck all
who live their lives from A to B, and to their depths been dragging me.

I really thought I d make it and live the life
now I m walking with the boring thru the streets of Scummyside.
I could have been an artist or worked a sweat to feed the poor
or lived in foreign lands white sands just outside my door.
now i m stuck in mediocre, in this half-light in St Paul's
the truth was once a whisper that never became a roar

I tried to write my story, God I'd hoped they'd let me in
my mind wont let me focus whilst my heart feels everything
I looked around for answers, from without: girls drugs and DRINK
but no one's gonna save me it's true REAL CHANGE COMES FROM WITHIN.

The truth has many enemies, the lie has many friends,
I've been dancing with these devils,:Ego, Lust and Selfishness;
There's nothing else I'll  keep on hoping, keep on wanting, knocking doors
But it s the hope that kills you I was told, that keeps you coming back for more .

The truth has many enemies, the lie has many friends,
I've been dancing with these devils, Ego, Lust and selfishness;
Looks like I ll  keep on hoping, keep on wanting, knocking doors
But it s the hope that kills you I was told, that keeps you coming back for more .

show me restraint

pills and wine and act the swine, hanging out in local dives
escape the winter and the wind, ghost of parties on the piss
ketamine and cheap cocaine, i's my way to dodge the rain
thinking thoughts I shouldn't be thinking heart's frozen still

so dose me up and send me reeling I have lost all sense of me
chase me from the bar I m pleading drive me to the library
been working this laboratory - show me restraint

little town I guess you've heard the lies of those party here?
they'll dose you up with ephedrine for another nite out on the scene
summer swinging it s the same, hangover from the months of rain
thinking thoughts I shouldn't be thinking heart's frozen still

so dose me up and send me reeling I have lost all sense of me
chase me from thr bar I m pleading drive me to the library
been working this laboratory - show me restraint

show me restraint

too much

am i being too hard on my self?
and am i making it too complex
settle down find a wife
find a town ride it out
judge jury executioner in my mind

am i living a worthy life?
am i doing what is right and on time?
a purposeful life seems always out of reach
confusion confusion and muddled beliefs.

'i came here t drink but noone wants to sell me any booze

i ll live that purposeful life if i figure out what s right
i m well aware what s wrong, what i cannot stand up for

am i 
there are too many worlds to inhabit
too many possible futures
too many people
 too much space, too many days, too many nites
too much stuff and too much inevitable waste
i wish to simplify, to focus on what to me is right 
and this city doesnt help, distraction to my left and right.

a pure form 
sieve out the clutter in my brain, wash it through with cool water
too many lists, too many emotions, too many hang ups and phobias
too many thoughts, too many rules, forms, emails spreadsheets, religions, 
too much choice but not enough time
too many wants,  needs, too much tv, too many channels, too many fucking photographs, overload, too much too much, saturation point. how can y really appreciate what you have if there is too too much
too much stress, too much distraction. how can we sit with ourselves when the world is out there screaming for our attention 24 hours a fucking day?